They All Fall Down

It has been over a month since my last post and I have missed writing. But, these last few weeks have given me the opportunity to focus on hearing and healing. Before my hiatus, I shared how I felt compelled to fast and pray so that I could “rest” and “return” to the Lord.

As a Kingdom Mommy, I know the weight of the assignment to raise Godly seed for His glory and for His Kingdom, so, when I felt all my reserves were depleted, I knew something needed to change.

In the past, when I needed refreshing and healing from the Lord, He would give it in abundance. It was always a special time we shared. This time He gave in to me, but He packaged in a way I did not expect.

I knew I needed to go, I was desperate for something more. So when they made the announcement that the women’s ministry, at my church, was planning a retreat for the ladies, I signed-up immediately.

It was not until I arrived at the convention center that Friday afternoon, that my heart felt like it would burst inside me. I started to feel anxious but I knew, He had something very special planned for me, so I swallowed back the tears and pressed on.

I had not been around women like this in a long time. To be honest, I had not been around “church folks,” like this for a long time. Having only been at my new church for a little over a year, this was a big step for me. I had been in settings like this before, yet after being wounded by those who said they served the Lord, my heart was broken and, so I had kept myself hidden away. But what I did not realize, was that I had kept myself hidden for my God as well.

Of course I prayed and talked to the Lord, did some bible reading and quiet time, but I had not let Him ALL the way back in and had kept His people out too.

As the retreat progressed, so did my tears and my pain. I realized that I had let one trauma affect me too much, and the walls I had built to “protect” me from such a breach happening again, had imprisoned me and kept me from the love of my God and His people. I had admitted that I was afraid… to trust again, to love, to feel how deep the pain really went.

But as I shared with one of the sisters what my vice was, something came out of my mouth that seemed to hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks. “I am afraid,” I said to her, as she held my hand after pouring out her heart to me “…and I’m ashamed that I’m afraid.”

That was IT. The “thing” that I couldn’t figure out before. Why it had been so hard for me to let go of the hurt. I admitted for the first time that I was ashamed.

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.”

Genesis 3:8-10 (ESV)

I knew that God’s grace, mercy and power could keep me and protect me and heal me. I had walked with Him for so long, taught His Word, preached His healing, and lived in His redemptive light. What was wrong with me? How could I NOW be so shaken by the pain I was feeling? How could I have not gotten over this pain by now? How could I been struggling to believe?

Much like Adam’s response to the promptings and the call of the Lord, I too was afraid, but what finally came to the light, was that I was ashamed, so I hid myself. With that confession came a new level of healing for me. And God had prepared a table for me in the presence of His people, His vessels..the women in my church community.

He set me up to come out of hiding, to be loved by others who shared some of the same wounds I had. Mothers, sisters, aunts, ministers, caregivers…women, who were loved by Him just like me. They too came for healing, rest, deliverance, and freedom. They too came out of hiding and loved me on their way out.

He healed me through community and together… they helped me to tear my walls down.

©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

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Happy (Kingdom) Mother’s Day!

Happy Mommys are the Best People in the World Day!

Celebrate a Kingdom Mommy today!

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Walk This Way Part 2

Spring Break

15For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength…

    18And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are all those who [earnestly] wait for Him, who expect and look and long for Him [for His victory, His favor, His love, His peace, His joy, and His matchless, unbroken companionship]!

Isaiah 30:15, 19 (AMP)

Last week, I shared with you that I have been struggling with yielding to make changes that I know God is leading me to do. Whenever we face challenges and difficulties, it is important that we do not overlook the voice of the Lord speaking directly to our situation.

But, it can be hard, to do what you know you need to do, because the flesh is at war with the spirit. The last thing your flesh wants to do is die and surrender, but we are not walk after the flesh, but after the spirit (Romans 8:1; Galatians 5:16), and we must allow the Holy Spirit to rule, and not our own desires.

I sense the Lord calling me to “return,” in a way that will take me much deeper and to do that, fasting and prayer is required.

I will be taking a break from blogging for the month of April to return to my Lord in quietness and fast. Please be praying for me during this time that I will hear clearly from the Lord about the issues of my heart.

Thank you for reading and thank you for your prayers.

©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

Walk This Way Part 1

And your ears will hear a word behind you, saying,

This is the way; walk in it, when you turn to the right hand and when you turn to the left.

 Isaiah 30:21 (AMP)

I have shared with you in the past that God has been leading me to eat more plants. This, to say the least, has been a challenge for me and I really can’t figure out why.

Ultimately I need to be healthy, so that I can fulfill my Kingdom assignment and do all that God has created me to do. But initially, it has been about the weight for me. I want to lose weight. But despite knowing what I should be doing and doing it consistently has been a struggle for me.

Today, I read a great post, about how we can do better, and some reasons why we don’t. This was such a timely post for me, because I need to do better. And more importantly I need to know HOW to do better.

As a mother, my children’s eyes are always watching me and they see my failures and triumphs more than anyone else. As a Kingdom Mommy, it is importnat that when I fail, I show them the redeeming power of God and not the self-condemning influence of the devil.

  • What are some areas you find are a challenge for you?
  • What do you do when you feel like you are struggling with something?
  • Who do you look to for support during a difficult challenge or when making lasting changes?

Please let me know what you think or share a testimony of how God has given you victory in a certain area.

©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

Labor of Love Week 8

I wonder if the devil can read. After my post last week, for some reason the very words that I typed became a very real trial for me. I shared with you that there is a difference between strength and a stronghold, and that we would discuss how we can know if we are strong or being strongly held.

Last week, I was doing my usual routine; taking care of the home and family, working my businesses, preparing for church activities, writing, couponing and shopping, home educating….

I began to feel more tired than usual (despite significant diet changes) and began to wake each morning with a sore throat. I began to feel a weight on me that seemed to make every task feel like I was trying to climb Mount Everest.

I kept going, I kept pushing, because I had SO MUCH to do and I needed to get it done.

I became more tired and started to feel worn out. A much needed hair appointment had to be cancelled, which would have been a time for me rest a little, so I just crammed in more tasks, thinking I could rest later.

With every task, I asked God for strength, and would whisper and sigh a “Thank You Lord,” blowing out my breath as I pushed past the fatigue.

Needless to say, by Saturday night, I was beat and feeling really bad, but I was still folding laundry, and finishing the girls’ hair.

Sunday morning I woke to an even worse condition, but I just kept going. I hadn’t had a cold or any sickness like this for a long time, but I had commitments and needed to be there…then God intervened. My husband had to put his foot down and tell me… NO MORE!

Even though the Holy Spirit kept warning me that I was doing too much, I kept trying to convince myself that I HAD to do it all and do it now. I just kept saying “strengthen me Lord,” so I thought that made it okay. My husband only confirmed what I already knew was a long overdue need to stop and rest and heed the Spirit’s instructions.

 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened,

and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]

 Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart,

and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29 (AMP)

How Do You Know If It’s A Stronghold? It all depends on you. You are the one that must do it all.

How Do You Know If You are Holding to God’s Strength? It all depends on Him. He is the one you listen to and obey, even when you don’t understand how it will all get done.

I failed, miserably, and that sad part is..I knew better. I don’t know what I was trying to prove. Maybe deep down, I wanted to convince myself that I could handle it all, just like I did in the past. But, it just left me totally broken…right where God wanted and needed me to be.

To distinguish between strength and a stronghold, is easy…is it you or is it God? That is how you know. Trying to balance it all, without God’s direction, only leaves us worn and torn. I know, I fell for it last week.

No matter what role you play, as the stay-at-home, work-from-home, or working mom, God gives us His strength to do the work He has created us for. Obedience to His word and to His way.

I pray that you were able to receive something from this series that will help you to hold to God’s strength, obey His will for your life and live in freedom from the world’s judgment and scrutiny, that only He can provide.

If you want to know how to find work-life balance, then ask the Giver of life and work at pleasing Him…that is really all you need.

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©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

 

Labor of Love Week 7

Strength Versus Stronghold

I was talking to a sister friend of mine and we were discussing how often, even as Christian women, we tend to depend on our own strength to do everything we need to do and get it all done. Not realizing that this is our plight, we stand “strong” and “keep it moving,” sometimes even when God is nudging us to slow down.

We hold to habits that are tearing us a part, because we think we have to do it all or because everyone depends on us, we can’t let them down, so we let ourselves down and work way too hard.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we do need to work and care for those we love and do all that God has given us to do. But there is a difference between strength and a stronghold.

Both riches and honor come from you, and you rule over all.

In your hand are power and might, and in your hand it is to make great and to give strength to all.

1 Chronicles 29:12

Weak Strength

It is important to know that strength means; power, ability, force, might. As Believers, our source of strength comes from the power that is given to us by the Holy Spirit. In order to become a disciple of Christ, we are required to deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow Him (Matthew 16:24, Mark 8:34, Luke 9:23). We cannot depend on ourselves and deny ourselves at the same time. But too often, we don’t know the impact that this simple truth holds for us. We tend to revert back to familiar territory where we can come up with the solutions ourselves and we try and manage life within our own strength.

But any strength we have must be rooted in faith, hope and trust in God, and not in our own human ability. This concept is easy to understand but far more difficult to live out consistently.

Holding Strong

When we, in our own human strength, attempt to do what God has not commissioned us to do, we have crossed over into dangerous terrain. In many cases, we have unknowingly created an idol out of our own achievements and past victories, and could be treading on the road to pride and self-deception. I know that sounds harsh, but that is how deep this thing really is. I won’t go into all of it in this post, but I do want to be sure to point out that when “strength,” becomes our badge of honor, it is no longer strength, but has become a stronghold.

What do I mean? Because we are no longer holding on the God for the power we need to do all we need, we are letting the “I can handle it,” “I don’t need any help” attitude hold us hostage. We are deceived into believing that we can do it…ALL…with NO HELP! Not even help from the Lord. Uh Oh. That is not longer strength, that is a stronghold.

Next week we will talk about how to identify if we are holding strong to God or we are tangled up in a stronghold and how to get free.

Be sure to tune in and tell a friend.

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©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

 

 

Warm Days

I am giving myself permission not to post today. Well, I am posting this, but I mean that today I will be spending some outside time with my children due to an unexpected warm day here in the Michigan winter. (YEAY!!!) I will conclude the Labor of Love sereis later this week. So, if you were looking froward to today’s post, tune in tomorrow or Friday. Go out and get some sun!

Happy Blogiversary

One year ago today, Kingdom Mommy was launched. I am overjoyed at what God has done on this blog and looking forward to how He will use it to be a blessing to those raising Godly seed for His glory and for His Kingdom. Celebrate with us and leave us a comment.

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Labor of Love Week 6

The Best (and Worst) Of Both Worlds

What happens when you take a stay-at-home mom and add a home-based business or ministry? You get a WORK-at-home mom (WAHM). This is when the working mom and the stay-at-home mom collide, and with it all the ups and downs of both.

To better define the WAHM, we will state that she would primarily be at home with her children full-time AND works a home-based business or even be in ministry at least part-time. The conventional definition does not include ministry, but I wanted to be sure that we examined this area too.

Many moms are now beginning to explore ways that they can be fully available to their families and make a financial contribution, right from home. There are others who are called to ministry work and are raising children too, so there is a need to balance both worlds well.

Prioritizing Maximized

I believe, first and foremost, after he faith and dedication to Jesus Christ, that a (wife) mother is called to minister to her family. Scripture is very clear on that role, although modern culture may be opposed to that view. So before we go any further, let’s take a look.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine.They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.

Titus 2:3-5 (ESV)

So I would have younger widows marry, bear children, manage their households, and give the adversary no occasion for slander.

1 Timothy 5:14 (ESV)

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. 

Proverbs 14:1

She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 

Proverbs 31:27

These are just a few scriptures that generally speak to the role of wives and moms and women in general. But it helps when you are operating a business or working in ministry, to know how to properly prioritize. 

Family comes first. We have all heard it before, but the modern culture tells us that our dreams, visions, and desires, are what should be first. That you should not let your children “slow you down,” or “get in the way of your dreams.”  We are constantly sent messages that children are a hindrance and that we should “control” when and how we have them so that is most convenient for us (now that’s a whole other post).

But I want to shout this from the highest mountain… that children are a blessing from God and not a hindrance to your dreams. God will not call you to do something that will cause you to sacrifice your children or your family. He will equip you for what He has called you to, and He knows the way that you should take. So, remember, family comes first.

Season Examination

It is also vital to examine what season of your life you are in. Ecclesiastes 3:1 states:

 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

Verses 2-8, go on to outline examples of different seasons and what is needed or required at different times. For a mother who is called to ministry or business or both, it is very key to know what season you are in and when God desires for you to make changes and transitions.

I can’t emphasize enough, how important this is to your success and your sanity. I know for myself, I can often times become anxious to “see” the vision come to pass for what God has given me to do, or to “get there,” and do all of what He has placed in my heart to do. But, if I move out of season and out of God’s timing, I am setting myself up for added stress for me and my family.

If you know what season you are in, you will be less likely to compare your “success” with that of others, or even with what you think you should be accomplishing. So, in essence… know your season.

The Supporting Savior

And finally, but most importantly, get the right kind of support. You need someone to hold up your arms and give you that added boost, when your energy is drained and you are not sure if you can go on.

It’s great to have people in your life who you can identify with and connect with, but the perfect ministry and business parter is your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Only He can reveal to you the people He will send that will be a help to you and He knows exactly what you need at any given time. This is not to minimize the importance of ministry and business connections, but it is to emphasize the power of a committed walk with God to your success.

I pray that you have been encouraged to hold to what you have been created to do, to first be a Kingdom Mommy and then to fulfill your Kingdom assignment in God’s timing and in your season.

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©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

 

Resolutions Revisited

So how are you doing with your new year resolutions? 

Many people started out the year and had planned to get fit, lose weight, get out of debt and so on. But some have found their way back into old habits and may feel helpless to get back on track.

I shared earlier that it was important for us all to receive “revelation,” and let what we received from our Lord, guide our goal making.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve ourselves, but a wise man (Solomon) once said that, there is nothing new under the sun and all is vanity (Ecclesiastes 1:1-9).

As Believers, it is important that we seek to improve and grow, not so that we can receive accolades from people, but so that God may be glorified.

I wasn’t sure if I would write about this topic, because it is not “directly” related to raising godly children. But I believe that there is a powerful connection that we have yet to discover.

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about diet…nutrition…. eating habits…health or whatever you want to call it.

This is a touchy subject because, to be honest, we are “free” to eat all that God has provided for us and He said that everything He made was good (Genesis 1:25). But He has given me great revelation about my own health and His will for all believers to walk in complete wholeness.

The Sick Truth

Too many of us are sick, diseased, fatigued…not spiritually, but physically.

Although we have received liberty through Christ and are spiritually born anew, many of us are living beneath our potential because our bodies are just not healthy.

I want to ask a some very important questions, not out of judgment, but out of deep concern, that I hope we can answer as we open up this dialogue.

  • Who is responsible for our health?
  • If we are sick or diseased, is it because we do not have enough faith in God’s ability to heal?
  • Should we live (and eat) however we like because we are no longer under the law and we are redeemed?
  • Does how we eat have anything to do with our faith in God?

I want to hear from you on this. I pray that we can receive wisdom from God as we examine these questions and ask Him to speak to us about our health.

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 ©2012 Ajene M. Gailliard   All Rights Reserved

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